Sunday

I woke up in the quite early morning in Sunday and couldn't sleep again

this is just so not like the usual me =/

quite rare happen on me but it did happened now

and the very first thing I did was writing my bloggie again

supposedly I have so many things to share in my blog last nite

after the chatting session with the guys allen and yap in Starbucks

the place full of memories with him

but I am emotional down and just wish to get myself on to the bed earlier

though neither earlier it is almost 1am I only grab my pillow and get sleep

after woke up this morning I went pasar to buy sayur sayuran with my roomate

then had our breakfast in one hostel

all seems to be going peacefully..my life in Cameron

I seem to be get use of the life there

but somehow

I become so numb and dumb

when my life without his presence anymore

when I seeing others who having their guardian angel

it just remind me I have lost him

Allen has revealed the ugly truth of a man's thought and I know

it is the fact that will never change

I choose to not find out the answer and just leave it

because I have no more guts to face the sadness again

I rather pretend don't know everything and let it fade in this way

suffered but no tears at least

I told myself

it is just the matter of time

since the memories is still fresh

wherever I go the things people my mind will automatically link them with him

and he will never know even he know about it he have chosen the way he want to

I respect the way he ended it

at least no hurts and quarrel between us

people used to ask

you should recover aredy rite?

last time I have told people in this way

that I am no more care about this

but somehow

the memories attack and the loneliness make me remind of him

not couldn't let go

I am just still wish to keep all this memories inside my mind

without letting go

sigh.

my Sunday

isn't bad but isn't good as well