Finally. I had my first outing ! aha~

Since the day I infected chicken pox
I locked myself inside my room
staying at home eating vege alone everyday
and almost quit facebook and turn myself into a nerd

and yeahhhh!!!

TODAY. finally.
I can go out without wearing mask in public
I can eat my BR I can watch movie
I can had my dinner with friends
I can eat PIZZA
I can do alot of things that I am not able to do in past few weeks
take quite alot photos but the marks are still very obvious lar wey
feels like change my FB profile picta. But I couldn't get a nice one. all NOOB face.
suan le ba. next time. just post a few here lar. HAHA all smile so happy.
exclude me D:

3 sorpo~my shooting skill is not bad lol
smile so nicely




my marks ar. when you all gone a?
D: how to smile ? lol

I date my friends, having pillow talk session with them
some more they teach me how to "kao zai" LOL
and that was a really precious moment when gather with old friends
HAHAH! and I knew one thing.
now I only realize that one of my old schoolmate loves my voice alot
she even promote me in front of her friends that I could sing very well
and praise me for having a very good " qi zhi"
hahaha FLYING~ I like the compliment
appreciate that so much.
she said I sang one of the song in station one really did impressed her so much
I was really touched TT touched by her words.

I am low self confidence for everything now. frankly
academic level. singing skill. appearance. social skill.
I feel shy to socialize with people sometimes
I am worried I speaking wrong thing that irritate others
so I keep silence all the times
but people will thought that I am 'chuan'
but actually I am not okay =/

Singging skill. okay.
compliment from people really help me alot
to build up the confidence.
so far people is giving positive comments.
but I really regret of I couldn't perform properly
in front of my loves one
people tends to show their abilities or good one in front of their loves one
but I failed to do it. all the time.

Academic level. that's a trouble.
my result is sucks to the max!!!
I don't know how will be my life if I failed one subject.or more
many troubles appeared. many obstacle in front of me.
I had dropped many tears in this two years. alot . really alot.
broke up. granpa passed away. argue with families. academic problem
wow. what da hell. happened alot of things and I forgot already. good one
but life goes on. I know =)

Appearance part. terribly low self confidence dao don't know how to say
mental problem or what. I always thought myself is the ugliest woman in the world LOL
what da what kind of mind is that huh? How could I think like that?
People look at me , all could able to know that
there is no such " confidence" showing on my face.
sometimes I don't even dare to look into their eyes when talk to them
if I am not satisfied with my look on that day.
sometimes I choose to hide myself in the room instead of going out
if I didn't manage to cope with my messy hair.
facial or anything that makes me feel uncomfortable.
arr. there is still a few stubborn marks over my face. wat da. some more red red one
what to do lar

hmmm...
Heartbreak was.
He opened a new account. the first person he added
is the girl he admired so muchie.
actually I know since the day I knew him
and he admitted. but there is still a little little
disappointment . what to do.
He likes her since one year ago.
the year I haven't meet him yet. I shouldn't be greedy la haiya
since I knew from the very beginning lor =)
smart act was I didn't put much expectation on that
just go with the flow that had been planned by GOD
if there is a turn of fate between me and he.
I will appreciate that and wouldn't escape from the plan.
but if there is no any sparkling or turn happen.
life goes on =)

By the way.
my heart still empty
without putting anyone inside it.
I reserve a very big spare space for myself
I wanna cure myself from everything.
from mental to physical.

I wan to learn to walk out from the past.
and I still can't forgive him. Frankly.
I still can't make it.