当这些不痛不痒的感觉咀嚼着你
或许腐蚀着
我的这片脑袋清醒地诉说着其实我没办法
掌控一切我想要的
画面一遍一遍重复
做过些什么 又能证明些什么
不断说服自己
其实可以完全翘起脚等命运安排
但还是会好奇地
想窥探 模糊不清的
是事实 还是虚构的
这游戏
有时真的太累人了
又不能说搁着就搁着
奈何 人总是太贪心
总觉得自己得到的比别人少
理所当然 不过仅仅而已
不够 不够
可是偏偏 到最后
你还是什么都没证明了
不要失望
是我的问题而已
果然
成长也未必是一件好事
的说
我清醒着让自己不清醒
2012年2月26日星期日
病
有时候突如其来的情绪
我也会被自己吓倒了
当你不想说话
连最想收到信息的人信息你的时候
你也会置之不理的时候
我知道 情绪来了
有时候就是这样一下子无缘无故的被打败
有谁又喜欢那种无力的挣脱感
当被缠绕时 那种无法解脱的心情
点点滴滴在心头
喝酒 又岂能摆脱这些所谓看似可有可无的小事
能力被否定 舞台不再属于你的时候
你是仰起头看着别人在絢丽的灯光中挥洒着他们美丽的人生
那步法 那舞动
都是你跟不上的
所以 你才会是台下的观众
而不是台上的台柱
追求目光其实也是一种潜意识的虚荣感
只是 当你没能力的时候
你不好意思表明要求
我也想那么轰轰烈烈的争气一次
然而使尽力气 不行还是不行
命运不站你这边
哪怕是自己的酒量
我也斗不过
最终就只落得那狼狈的画面
2012年2月22日星期三
2012年2月6日星期一
2012年2月4日星期六
yea yea
I decided to write this post in English
because actually now I am doing
my report
and suddenly realizing that I haven't
jot down any notes for the day of
PUTTING MY BRACES ON yet
okay now I am writing
without any photos okay?
bcause it is damn fugly
I think I need some time to get used
to the braces on my teeth
perhaps someday I may take a proper picture
for my bloggie
Bloggie I am sorry! just be patient and wait =)
yea on Friday I have put on the braces
as it is one of my wishlist and I had fulfilled it finally
Frankly speaking the dentist actually is quite handsem
because he has a very nice teeth whenever he throw
his smiling face to me
melting for 2 seconds hahaha
yaa same thing he did everything in very fast pace
about one hour he finished all the thing
as I can finally see so many little steel thingy
attached on my teeth
it is not really obvious when I am smiling since
it is so rare I open my mouth big big and smile heeeee
but the very funniest thing was actually I was sick on that day
keep coughing non stop
you can imagine while I open my mouth doing the surgery
but I couldn't cough? HAHA
and one thing is many saliva will come out while putting on the braces
but there is a pipe and I wondering what is it
it is like sucking my saliva =0 I am not so sure about it
the pain will only come after the doctor started using the iron wire
and tie every single steel thingy on your teeth together
you can definitely feel the pain, or paralysis ?
I am not sure how to call that kind of feeling
is just so complicated feelings I had now
actually quite a lot awkward moment during the process
like my head touching doctor's belly =X
saliva keeps splitting out
when your teeth color is not so nice (yellow)
all ugly part of you can be seen clearly by your doctor
so it is impossible to kao your own dentist
you have LOST YOUR IMAGE infront of your doctor
he knows I am very nervous throughout the process
so when finish all the things
he touched my cheek =) to ease my nervousness
hahahaahha such a wen rou dentist that I never met
how good if he could sing for me while next time I visit him
it might can ease my pain as well =(
and one good thing is
I lost my weight
apparently I get back my cockroach's leg again
my hand and even my face
had slim down a little bit
photos can lie you ten years eight years
but if you see my real person then you can differentiate it
how amazing was that
is just in few days
of cause lar for the first day after put on the braces
I only drank soya milk without taking any solid food eh
but my baby bu ren xin see I starve myself
so he brought me eat porridge in the middle of the night
but I could barely take a small bowl in
I didn't bite any meat for 2 days
even rice also makan sikit sikit saje
I have no appetite to take any food
due to the pain
I will definitely lost my weight ba huahahah
as I always wish to slim down my face and body
houuuuuuu
that's all for my post for today
kinda busy after opening sem
a lot of things have to take care of
events and academic
and I fall sick for one week d =(
luckily babies were with me =)
I am so lucky to have you all accompany me
Friends are always better than lover
for sure
I never get any regards from you
even you knew I fall sick
=) nevermind I look open already
I got my baby
2012年2月1日星期三
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