突发奇想

这是一个突如期来的思绪
被钻进我这样的一个脑袋
在一个这样的午后
在看见一些事情后一棒被敲醒的清醒
其实我时时刻刻都是那么清醒着的
清醒和昏迷之间只有一个开关
开关的掌控权置在于我

经历得不算多
全任凭眼皮下这颗眼睛所见的
纳入自己的经验库

然而有时候偶尔的开心
会被一刹那的惆怅给抹杀
它开始问你
这是你要的吗？
后来因为胆怯 因为种种因素
你退下来了 不敢前进（某种方面）
你是否已经失去了这机会
这是无人知晓的答案

此刻我看见的是蒙蒙胧胧
我却知晓会是很美丽很吸引的景色
在我面前
这份确定是我给自己的 在痛苦的后来
我告诉自己
尽管现状告诉你
你是多么地需要一些辅助 来支撑着自己
但是到后来你会发现 你所需要的
更本无须自己拼了条命死抓乱扯
才能把这些生命美好的支撑给留住
这是浪费力气的 在某种状况 某种程度
你是不必留着 他们也会留在身边

我会时时刻刻都记着
如何微笑着处理人生杂事
不强求 坦然 顺其自然
最后 祝福 =)


这是我最后一次下的决心与决定！无有怕

Insomnia

Nothing is more terrible than insomnia
it's finally driving me crazy last night
I broke down and cried on my mum's shoulder
I can't stand it anymore
why does it so hard to fall asleep I wondered
Horror came when I saw the clock is already 5
but I still haven't feel sleepy yet
convincing myself that doesn't need to worry so much
but my mind still like jumble with rubbishes
can't even rest in one second
can't even stop myself from thinking
out of mood to sleep totally
mentally sick probably
it is so cruel to treat myself like this
why would this happened?
how can I treat myself like this?
I decided to run away
officially get myself out from the stresses
never force myself do anything that I don't want to
whatever cgpa I get in this sem
I just want myself be happy
I don't care...
I want freedom badly

argh ! cant help

I couldn't get into sleep mood recently
even a nap !
what to do...
maybe too many things have to bother
so got to be aware all the time
restless even staying at home
can't help !
I don't know why
just couldn't be able to hit my pillow on time
I should go bed early on time so that chicken pox
won't turn back and find me XDD
haih even a NAP ! seriuosly...

I found something was really interesting
actually from the feedjit there I would know
who from where is viewing my bloggie
and I accidentally saw one from japan that I never seen before
is that YOU lee yee??? lol
I know I am stupid
just in case , that is you
so start from now my feedjit will appear
viewer from japan constantly, isn't it? hahahaha

still...vege and fruits fill my stomach for whole week
ALREADY...
not even rices noodles or some meats I get
and next week I will drive back to kampar
YESSS I am driving back to kampar hiak hiak
but that week will be my busy week as well
sooooo many test replacement...haih...
maybe that's the reason I couldn't sleep
should take it easyyy take it easy !!

currently crazy for reading......
not Notes ahahha but TWILIGHT! !
once again fall for Edward crazily
reading is much more attractive than watching movie !
ROOM of imagination. ARGH! can't help !
by the way. that's the good way to improve my engalishie

and here would like to wish myself recover as soon as possible
finish all those test thingy
and get ready for trip !
where to go?

EVERYWHERE heeess :D

short update

yooo lets have a short update here

really enjoy in this few days resting at home

without getting myself in any troubles

just study eat and watching some TV

good new was finally I reduced my weight

from 50kg drop until 47kg I think

cool rite?? ahahhaa

since almost everyday I only consume fruits and veges

without any rice or meat in my day

I still gain carbohydrates from potatoes everyday

or some breads...

but most of the time I am eating veges and fruits

nothing else to eat... bo bian

thanks god I recover quite fast in time

actually the fourth day of my infection

I already recovered from fever...

but doctor insisted to let me stay at home

because worrying about spreading the virus to others

hmmmm there is still some marks over my face and body

I think gotta wait a few months for fading? I guess

by the way I m really thanks to my mum

she take care of me even cried when I was crying

Home is still the best place for me to stay. NEVER CHANGE

and I think I am gotta disappear for one more month ?

ngam ngam after two weeks leave is study week

so I shall stay at home without going anywhere else and study...

STUDY? hahahah actually quite lazy while doing it at home

but I will try my best !

kinda miss my friend in kampar .. But I don't think I miss kampar

since happened so many things over there... I will move out

and stay at my home a little longer for resting...

I won't back to my room anymore

and to my best friend LEE YEE

sorry for not able to attend our last gathering in airport

I should have send you...

by the way send you my warmest regards here

hopes everything will be fine over there

and take good care of yourself. anything just update me in fb

best friend don't need to say too much. we all know =)))

arghhh... it's vege's time...

I think I am going to be a nun LOL

planning to have a trip with myself

errrr but I should wait until fully recover first...

so... murrrmmm murrmmmm jaaappp jaapppp

eat the vege first.

tata

除下

婴儿初生时

第一时间碰触的人事物

是依据他人生里最重要的事物的次序

是在他人生里头第一时间所不劳而得的珍品

生命 是他们人生的一个源头

生命里包含的感官触觉 决定了他们去感知这个世界

他们会开始有感受 有表情 有知觉

生命 是最重要的

接下来 就是父母

他们看见给予他们生命的父母

给予他们成长的亲人

亲人是在比朋友与情人先遇上的

所以亲人成为了在他们生命中第二大重要的

在我们逐渐长大后

我们会开始寻找朋友 我们会开始有兴趣

我们开始懂得发挥自己的所能 我们注重自己的专长

我们同时也开始不小心捡起了生命中不该有的垃圾

就好比执著 在我们学会什么是胜利之后

在我们尝到人生中第一次胜利的滋味后

我们懂得了 我们把它给捡起了 放在了肩上

因为胜利里包含了执著 我们变得更重

我们开始觉得人生的每一步有着艰难 很笨重

因为我们身上的东西多了 我们顾虑也就多了

儿时能一口就决定的事物 长大后变得不容易了

因为我们深怕决定错了以后 我们身上就会掉了一些东西

我们不舍失去

执著还不够 随着我们长大 看见懂得的事物越来越多

我们就不断不知觉的捡起了更多东西伴自己随行

如妒忌心 虚荣心 虚伪心 贪心

我们痛苦 但是 此刻我们遇见了爱情

小时候只尝过亲情友情 碰到了这稀奇的新东西

我们又不知觉的捡起了 爱情幸福是我们首次尝到的感觉

新颖极了 我们不舍得放下 因为我们还分不清是什么感觉 但就是享受着这新颖

伴随着爱情的爱恨嫉仇也跟着我们了

爱情开始经不起考验 这些爱恨嫉仇都跑出来的时候

我们终于忍受不住了 我们把爱情丢在半路

由于爱情之前来得配套超级无量大

当我们丢弃后 就会无意间留了一个大空洞在自己身上

我们开始感到空虚寂寞 因为身体上莫名多了无数个空洞

后来我们又去寻找另外一些人 来填补这些空洞

我们扛起了这些所谓的感情 背负着这些故事

我们人生的步伐 变得又更重了一些

就这样走着走着

倔强很美 我要捡起他

这爱情很美 我要捡起他

这钢琴很美 我要捡起他

什么都很美 我们都捡起了他们

一样一样 放在身上 令自己前进的步伐逐渐缓慢

甚至透不过气

什么都想要拥有 却忘了人类原有的体力

如果有一个方程式能计算 人类要不超出扛起多少东西

才能完美表达自己 把自己所捡起的每件东西有一个完美的呈现率

我想知道 因为我不想 overload

或许我们有时候真的要把身上的东西一件一件除下

才能看见自己最想要的东西 和自己最匹配的东西

我们寻找的并不是路途上的垃圾 而是适合自己的东西

看见美丽的东西就想占为己有

于此同时 你也捡下了虚荣心

与此同时 你也捡下了贪心

与此同时 你也捡下了执著心

因为 你拥有了美丽的东西 有了虚荣 你根本不想放开

不想放开 就形成了 贪心 执著

放下他们 你会找到适合你 又不会在你身上超载的

这假期

又是好好寻找自己的时候

我会回到以前的我的

当什么都没有的时候

yiu -l- what you want me to do

I thought

fall sick

see doctor

take MC

officially rest 99

I thought

M C -- l e s e n f o r r e s t i n g

haih... still got to rush here and there

sending email to the lecturers for the replacement

waiting their reply...reading their reply...reply them again

something like chitchat ma de

and still got to solve the sou zhao si utar left for me last sem

what hurt me the most is

a lecturer ask me to show her the MC

baru consider give me replacement for test T.T

WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO IF YOU FEVER NON-STOPPING

STILL GOT TO RUSH BACK KAMPAR TO SHOW YOU THE LESEN
STILL GOT TO TAKE THE RISK OF BLAMING BY OTHERS

BY CARRYING CHICKEN POX VIRUS TO CAMPUS AND WALK AROUND

TO THE OTHERS WHO DOESN'T HAVE BEFORE!

be considerable... I am just a human.

yea I am young...actually I m feeling much more better now

but then after driving for whole day I started feeling not well again.

I am not fully recover yet.

CAN'T YOU JUST SEND ME A REGARD AND ASK ME REST MORE?

非得要我操死不可？ feideiyaowocaosibuke?

don't forget I am not only study one subject got one test from you

I still got others lecturer need to explain, other subjects need to replace

yiu...that's my word for today.

STARTED feeling not well again. TMD ...

finding scanner to send u the "lesen"

or send to the WHOLE UTAR lecturers

I WAS HAVING CHICKEN POX RIGHT NOW

arrange replacement for me?

or wanna have some chicken pox virus on your body?

YOU CHOOSE

lousy UTAR aaa

You wouldn't know How SAD It could be

When I decided to send out the message :'(

promise me

open another door for me

kay?

cross your heart.